Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Thank you for calling the Unemployment Office. If you are unemployed like the 1.1 Million other Californians in this state and need answers to important questions, please visit our super user friendly website at: "You will never find what you are looking for dot com."

To contact us by phone dial: 1-800-you-will-NEVER-get-Through-In-This-Lifetime.  Please check out our FAQ (that never lists the questions you are looking for) BEFORE Contacting us.

By Email:
__ If your question does not appear in the drop down menu or in the FAQ, we do not have the answer for your question, however we can make one up for you if you want to wait 7-10 days for an answer.

Best time to call: We are open from 8-5. The phones start ringing at 1 second after 8AM. At this time our automated system will disconnect all callers after they have spent 10 minutes making phone option selections and entering pertinent information for the customer service agent, and will reach a recording stating: "we are way too flipping busy right now to talk to you. Go to our website or email us if you are lucky enough to figure the site out to get the right category to where we will even allow you to send us an email. Or you can go to one of several offices throughout the state of CA, that don't offer counter customer assistance anymore, however you may obtain the forms at these locations. If you have questions that fall outside our parameters we have outlined on our website (99.999% of the questions do), please write to us via "Pony Express" and you will receive an answer within 30-60 days."

Make it a great day!

Your phone call has now been disconnected.

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